Nice review of my last book …

I remember a hotel general manager telling me how careful you have to be when assessing emotions at work. A member of his staff answered a weekly “How did you feel at work this week?” email question with one word: “Sad”. He went to find her and asked what was wrong with work, what he could do to help. “Nothing,” she said, puzzled. “Then why do you say you are sad at work?” he asked. “Because my mother just died,” she said.
I did some work ages ago with Robert Levering, founder of the Great Place to Work Institute, helping him identify UK employers who might be eligible for that description, before he launched the Institute in the UK (he’d come over from San Francisco, where it was well-established already).
I like that phrase ‘great place to work’ as something to aim for in the work experience. I had reservations about its successor ‘happiness’: I prefer ‘great’ as the employee can define what that means, whereas identifying one emotional state and saying everyone needs to be in that state else there is something wrong seems too prescriptive to me.
Many of us aren’t naturally happy people anyway. We’re fine, though. We may be laconic, idealistic, perfectionist, serious-minded realists. Doesn’t mean we lack a sense of humour or can’t find work great and fulfilling, creative and liberating, uplifting, all that good stuff, nor that we aren’t supportive of others, helpful, generous in spirit to colleagues and customers, with a smile on our face, not a scowl. But, we don’t go around happy as a natural state. Where do we fit into the happy workplace? Do we inhibit its development? Are we unwanted?
The emergence of ‘joy’, which came along more recently as something to aim for at work, has tipped me over the edge, as it seems to be language inflation – the upper end of happiness. I think both those emotions (happiness and its peak, joy) are, by definition, high points, experienced in moments. Aiming to make them a permastate during the work day seems unachievable to me.
I’d reserve joy for watching a child being born, not having a fulfilling and productive day at work. It just doesn’t quite do it for me. And, in a world of quiet resignation, this hyping up of work as an ultimate (joy is an ultimate, no?) experience increasingly seems tone deaf.
On the other hand …
In among all the ‘bowl oranges at plastic water bottles’ (Harvard University’s ‘morejoy’ resources page ) and similar stuff you find when you Google ‘joy at work’, I came across this, from W. Edwards Deming, father of Statistical Process Control (SPC may not sound joyful, but it liberated, for example, Harley Davidson employees to say they love their work by putting them in charge of it):
“Management’s overall aim should be to create a system in which everybody may take joy in his work.” Dr. W. Edwards Deming
And I find I can’t argue with that.
“This accomplished experimental novel centers on loss, connection, and trying to heal in a pandemic. Dourado manages to balance tragedy and comedy in this intriguing debut that reimagines the novel in the context of Covid-19.”
– Publishers’ Weekly Book Life Supplement, November, 2021
“A moving and funny memoir of love & loss in a time of turmoil.”
My new book, published by Steelhouse Publishing, is available as a paperback and a Kindle eBook on these links:
Love & Loss in the Time of Covid (UK)
Love & Loss in the Time of Covid (US)
Or search the book title on your local Amazon site.
TOP REVIEW FROM THE UNITED STATES
Beautifully written – a must-read
Reviewed in the United States on October 26, 2021
This story follows the intimate journey of Matthew, who has lost three important people in his life during Covid, in succession, and how he navigates how to cope with his loss and grief. I found his journey along the Thames to be so symbolic – from putting the pieces of the kayak together to the navigation down the River, in the water – perhaps a search for rebirth. Having sought solace and peace in nature during lockdown (and still now), I could understand why his early morning time, drifting along, breathing in fresh air, were key to his search for healing.
The book offered humor where it was needed to give us some comic relief within a heavy subject matter. I found this book to be easily relatable, having lost friends and loved ones during the pandemic (and at other times too). Being separated from my mom for 6 months as her apartment building was in total lockdown, I could relate to his concerns for his own mother. Forced to wave to my mother from the sidewalk up to her 8th floor window was heartwrenching, but necessary for her health and protection. The author writes in an intimate, honest tone that I appreciated. There is no sugar coating to the pain from loss.
I totally understood how the main character used books, films, nature, videos, Ted Talks, science, grief counsellors, journals and articles written by others who have suffered grief – any avenue he could – to help him in his pain of loss and help him find a way forward to light and hope.
We live in a different world now – still in Zoom for many things where we used to have human contact, and finding ways to accept this way of life and find some positivity in it. The daily news lead off story is still about Covid and we can either fall into the darkness of it or choose light and hope for a better future.
I so appreciate that this book was written in real time. I loved this book.
Mrs T 5.0 out of 5 stars
Can’t put this down 5*
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on September 5, 2021
I know it’s a cliche, but I can’t put this book down. I’m three-quarters of the way through. My dog is staring at me with his legs crossed, needing his walk. My son and his family are due for Sunday lunch. So, I have to put it down and get up for both of those. But, then I’m really looking forward to getting back into it. The grief theme and how the main character tries to work through it when he loses several people at once makes complete sense to us. My husband lost both his parents very close together and, when that happens, you haven’t been able to grieve full circle for one before you start again. It just all comes at you at once. Intensely moving and surprisingly funny book.
Barbara 5.0 out of 5 stars
An unforgettable, extraordinary book.
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on September 8, 2021
Superbly written, original, intensely personal, moving, funny. One of the most evocative, extraordinary books I’ve ever read. We’re inside the central character Matthew’s head as he encounters, remembers and confronts his experiences of grief, loss and powerful love. I can’t recommend this book enough. It’s also great if you read in bitesize chunks – if you can bear to put it down, or simply have to, such as during a commute to work. But believe me, you’ll actually long for the journey time because every chapter sings. Unforgettable.
READ AN EXCERPT
You can read an excerpt by going to the book’s page on this link Publishers’ Weekly Booklife Site and clicking on the ‘Download excerpt‘ button.
This is one anonymous Health System’s vision for healthcare quality:
Yes, it’s the use of the present tense to describe a desired future reality.
So many vision statements do this – express a ‘wish’ as an ‘is’.
What that does to people working within that system is embed the ‘is’ as … an ‘is’ !! It becomes, in a subconscious sense, their current reality.
It’s Martin Seligman’s positive thinking in all its unrefined, undeveloped ideal form:
The problem is that more recent research into how to create a desired future state shows that once you talk about it as if it exists, you fool your brain and the brain of everyone else who works within that system into thinking the desired state DOES exist.
Like you, I’m sure, I’ve worked in large organisations with smart people who can’t see the improvement needs in their own practices because of this sense of the vision and values that have been ‘socialised’ in the organisation.
Any voice of criticism that suggests you aren’t living them is seen as disloyal. Hence the ‘whistleblower’ problem across all healthcare systems across the world.
Having set out the vision and principles underlying a quality system, the committee working on this project then delved more deeply into how to implement such a system in our health system.
Released in April, this report acknowledges that our province still does not have a high quality healthcare system for everybody, with the health system working well only for some people, with some conditions, treated some of the time.
The report sets out a number of recommendations for organizations in how to better understand quality healthcare, and how to deliver that care and foster a culture of quality.
Talking about quality across all six dimensions has to involve all stakeholders in the system – from governments, to hospitals and health authorities, to health care providers, patients and caregivers.
These conversations are essential if we are to move forward and make quality care a reality for everybody in the province.
Great. All true. But all totally undermined by the use of the present tense in that vision statement. Which sabotages the thinking of all involved right from the start.
That’s just one example of how leadership and quality improvement in healthcare and other systems needs to keep up with advances in the psychology of work and not get stuck in old ‘vision’ thinking that is no longer fit for purpose.
The ‘leadership conversations’ talked about above have to be honest and reflect reality – ‘brutally confront existing reality’ (Collins, Bossidy etc) while creating and sustaining a sense of realistic optimism that “we can do this” by sharing small-scale real examples of changes happening at all levels.
That’s what the online communities (that my team builds) do: enable real conversations that “prevent a BS culture of management speak from being the dominant and only acceptable mode of conversation” (in the words of one of the leaders in one of our communities run for one of the largest companies in the world).
In her book How to Have a Good Day, psychologist Caroline Webb draws on behavioural science to improve our understanding of why we behave the way we do at work.
It helps redefine the very tired ‘personal productivity’ canon of business and self-help books, whose main insights after decades and hundreds of books seem to be:
1) Make lists (Dave Allen) and
2) Focus on only a few things and ignore everyone and everything that tries to push you off track (great for collaborative working, dontcha think?)
What Caroline Webb does is recognise that the people we work with are, guess what, people.
Webb spreads the net of personal and team productivity to include not just WHAT you do but HOW YOU BEHAVE.
Of course checklists are useful, says Webb. But then gives us a psychologist’s insight into the little burst of ‘feel good’ chemicals you get when you tick a box, and how that’s addictive and you’ll tick till you’ve finished your list (sometimes) and go home thinking ‘job done’ under Dave Allen-type personal productivity thinking, which is completely self-centred and shallow (that’s me dissing Dave Allen, not Caroline Webb).
Webb introduces the need to inspire yourself and others with reasons, like the ‘personal why’. The neat little story is below as an excerpt. We at the Leadership Hub like this story as it illustrates an aspect of leadership we feel is vital and rarely practised: Leaders need to be where the business is actually done, as often as possible, not shut in their meetings in offices, a distant figure to the rest of the organisation.
(You can be everywhere virtually, by the way, with one of our digital leadership communities that make your top team ‘present’ in all corners of the business, regardless of geography, but that’s just a gratuitous plug).
“….I once heard a nice example of this kind of ‘personal why’ from a community hospital CEO. David was new to his organisation and still not a familiar face to staff, so he decided to spend a day working under-cover as an anonymous orderly to get some insight into how it felt on the front lines of his organisation. David busied himself ferrying patients from the emergency room to wards and from wards to operating theatres, learning a little more about his hospital with every step.
At one point, he came across a guy who was prodding a swinging door with a screwdriver. David asked the handy man what he was doing. The man looked up and said ‘I’m fixing the hinge so it opens more easily; it’s too stiff so when you’re pushing patients on gurneys through the doors, it gives them a nasty jolt – that’s not going to help them get better, is it?’
Of course, the handy man had been handed a task list for the day by his boss and he was steadily working through it. It could have been dull, a grind, but in his mind the goal was not just to fix the door, it was to reduce harm to patients. Making the connection to something he cared about encouraged him to treat the tasks more like his own, intrinsic goals, giving him more satisfaction and, all the evidence suggests, resulting in better performance too.”
I love the way the emerging behavioural sciences are re-defining productivity for leaders and managers. The further away we move from the self-serving ‘get the monkey off my back and onto someone else’s’, the closer we get to collaborative leadership that serves the organisation, its people and customers, rather than our own career and need to get things off our desks to appear productive and in control.
Because that isn’t leadership. That’s the illusion of control.